i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
