I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
