eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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