also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
