Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
