Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
