my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
