Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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