I feel like I'm in dance class right now
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize