I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
