I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
