She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
