man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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