Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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