You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
