Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
