first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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