PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Randomize
