If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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