In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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