and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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