Why are handjobs necessary in class?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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