I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
