Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
