all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
