i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
