Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
