I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
