I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
