She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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