this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
