I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
