By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
