I want to stick my p in your. b.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
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