Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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