I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
