Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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