Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
