508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
