Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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