For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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