i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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