you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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