I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Randomize