I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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