no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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