At least make sure they are 18
Why
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
