I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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