just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
