What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
