They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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