a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
