omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
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