i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
