Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
