I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
