it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
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