How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
