Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
