dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
